I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
4 words: hood of his car
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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