Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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