Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
