i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
