Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
