Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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