Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
