Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
