we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
