Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
