he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
