Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
