Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
