I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
