You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
