I just saw a hot homeless man
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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