I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
