**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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