yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
