Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
