I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
