I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
