I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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