why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
