Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Randomize
