i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
