I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
