two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
