if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
