at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
