So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
