Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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