Sry I called you an 8
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
