At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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