My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
