I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
