you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
