PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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