she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
