I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
