I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
