i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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