I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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