I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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