Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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