All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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