you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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