He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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