The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
