I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
